The Hedgehog Song

Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do
But I have to say this as a warning to you:
With almost all animals, you can have ball
But the hedgehog can’t be buggered at all.

Mounting a horse can often be fun
An elephant too; though he weighs half a ton
Screwing a cow while she goes moo-moo
Will be entertaining to both her and you
Or you might try a tiger, if you have enough gall
Only the hedgehog

A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet
And a cat or a dog can be more than a pet
You can manage a snake, though its poison might kill
It’s amazing how humping a camel will thrill
You can go with a snail if you slow to a crawl
But the hedgehog can’t be buggered at all.

The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
They’ll give you a pain in the worst place they can
The spines on his back are so awful thick
You’ll end up with naught but a painful prick.
He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball,
’Cause the hedgehog can’t be buggered at all!

You can roger a skunk if you can stand the smell
Or even an oyster, should he let go of his shell
For slippery fun, you can cornhole an otter
Or pego a pig after parting his trotters
Or tumble a tapir, though the prospect appall
But the hedgehog can’t be buggered at all.

The spines on his back are too sharp for a man
They’ll give you a pain in the worst place they can
The spines on his back are so awful thick
You’ll end up with naught but a painful prick.
He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball,
’Cause the hedgehog can’t be buggered at all!
Hence the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!